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                                       **** that is me sir adam mustafa ****

* i love my self *   do u saw enyone same like me * trust me u cant fund enyone like me *

                                 * ** bost by sir adam mustafa  ** *

The latest issue of the Internet Kalauz got in my hands a few days ago and right on the cover I saw the caption "Internet Love Story." The title had my attention immediately since I am among those who are in a similar situation. I read the story in the issue and liked it. I felt sorry for Victoria that her romance did not end as it does in the Hollywood movies, but life is sometimes raw and cruel. At the end of the article I saw an invitation to respond if someone had similar experiences. I am not in the category where my romance is in the "past," my adventure is happening now.
Believe it or not, but the fact that this romance exists is because of the Internet Kalauz, because the address where we've met was listed in the IK - we could say it was an accident. In an earlier issue I've found the web sight for www.eslcafe.com where there was an opportunity for interaction and learning and practice of English. It was then, as it is now, that I am in a need of continuous practice, I've visited the address. The first several visits nothing happened that was out of the ordinary. I've had pleasant conversations with my modest level of English with a range of individuals from throughout the world - until WHAM, when she appeared. Somehow we began a conversation and almost immediately we hit it off. She was a beginner with English as was I and with the cute mistakes she made with the tenses and the charmingly exciting modesty about her, she charmed me off my feet. We would talk for hours - it was unforgettable! I promised that we would talk again, exchanged e-mail addresses, etc.

Two or almost three weeks passed where I was not able to get on the net because of my job but finally one afternoon I logged on and as the twist of faith would have it, ended up at the ESL Cafe‚ site again. She wasn't there, or at least at first I did not think so. Unexpectedly I received a message from an individual whose name was unfamiliar to me up until then. (It was her.) At first, I was asking where do we know each other from but the person would not tell me (she loves guessing games) but after a while I realized it was her. Naturally, it was a big help in this guessing game that this person told me that he/she was (also) from Malaysia. Then I've asked if she had an ICQ number - and what do you know - she did. I've added it to my address list immediately and invited her for a private chat. She accepted. We spoke all night with our ''kitchen-English" but had no trouble understanding each other. In a private chat she was able to relax somewhat but remained exceptionally timid and modest, which I believe must characteristic of Asian women. We liked each other so well that after this we were on the chat whenever we could find time and continue to do so. We have these virtual dates more and more frequently!

The next step was that I've asked for her mailing address and she for mine. Soon I've received a brief note from her that she sent as an experiment to see that she copied the address correctly. Everything was fine. It was around that time that I've sent her the only existing scanned photo of myself - which, while I consider myself no better than average looking, is not a flattering photo of me. She was still willing to converse with me after receiving it and I took that as a promising sign. (Remembering the photo reference in your article about the photo exchange in Victoria's story.)

She introduced me to several of her girlfriends and I felt that I've succeeded in convincing them also that I was not a hopeless case. I've asked her often for a photo of herself but finding various excuses she had avoided sending me a photo until now.

I've received snail mail from her yesterday and to my surprise there was a group photo included. Naturally, she was playing her guessing game again but I was nut successful in guessing which might be her - but in the meantime, I realized that it really did not matter. I did not fall in love with her because of what she looked like (I assume you've realized by now that this is what this long preview is leading up to), but rather for what she said, her thoughts and views and her expression made her feel so close to me regardless of the fact that there are more than 7000 km and an entire culture that stand between us. She is 19 and I'm 24 but I still find her behavior at times childish, but I always write this off to different upbringing. I've tried through our conversations to give her more confidence, more expression to her will. While these things are not altogether missing from her character but to my European eyes they seem to be in altogether too small portions.

Whether or not the feelings of romance are mutual I don't know, although her girlfriend had made references to this on several occasions. In any case, in my mind our relationship belongs to the platonic romance category, the love of the soul that is developing. I hope she sees it the same. I suspect it will remain this way - at least for a good while - as the distance between us appears impossible to bridge despite the fact that modern man sees the distances on our planet shrinking all the time. Perhaps once, if Faith also wills it, we will meet in person.

So much for history. I realize there is nothing extra, I suspect there are similar stories out there by the dozen but it still felt good to tell someone who listened - or in this case read. I could not tell my friends about this - they would probably laugh at me - but I know you would not do that.

reall love story

from dr tomah mustafa

Two Years Later

A dream came true. The majority of people like to dream but in most cases they resolve the issue by a wave of a hand: ‘Nothing will become of it anyway!’ The truly amazing goals, on the other hand, do come to pass with faith and perseverance, especially if one is motivated by positive feelings. I'm among the lucky ones for whom the dream came true. After a long time I've finally met in person the girl I came to know on the internet.

That is what I would like to write about in hopes that my story will offer something useful for those who allow for the chance that they may find their partner on the internet that ‘devilish medium’.

Perhaps some of you may remember my story two years ago that I submitted to the Internet Love Story column. I've openly admitted to the world what my feelings were for a girl from Malaysia whom I've never met. It was a sort of ‘I can't tell anyone, so I'll tell everyone’ type of declaration on my part. When that letter was published our relationship was four months old and although its future seemed uncertain, my feelings of love for her were already strong and certain.

My friends noticed that change in me that I was spending more time on the net and constantly reading or writing e-mail. I've shared my secret with them hoping that they will understand. Most of them thought it was rather odd and some thought it downright nuts. ‘Long distance relationships don't work. What do you think how long can it last?’ Those were the kind of comments I was hearing. Perhaps it was only my female friends who displayed a bit more empathy. I waived them off and forged ahead still deeper into the relationship. As time went by, our communication became more in-depth and intimate. Christmas arrived and after having received some faxes, one afternoon what I had feared yet anticipated had happened. She phoned. My heart was beating in my throat and I thought I would pass out. Her voice was so beautiful and charming yet completely different from what I've imagined. I found myself unable to utter a complete sentence and the little English I knew seemed to drop as mosaic pieces from my head.

After the phone call I was sort of embarrassed and wrote an e-mail to her in which I apologized for disappointing her. To my surprise she responded that she was not at all disappointed and that she liked my voice. We agreed that next time I would try to be less nervous. Then I rushed out to buy some small surprise Christmas gifts for her. I've sent the package off and with it I've succeeded in surprising her. She was very happy and said that she'd never received such a gift from a boy before. They were nothing much really, a clay figurine, a silver necklace with her zodiac sign as a medal and some greeting cards. From then on we've taken every opportunity to surprise each other with something small. For Valentine's Day I've sent her a series of seven cards with huge letters in each, when all gathered she could spell the most beautiful sentence. By then she believed what I'd known for months. She loves me and I love her. But I've still not seen her!!! Sometime around Easter, I've tried to convince her to send me at least a tiny picture of herself. She rejected the idea saying that she was so fat and ugly and hated to be photographed. I did not leave it at that, but continued to badger her gently for photos. A while later she wrote an e-mail that soon I would be receiving photos in snail mail.

When the yellow envelope finally arrived Id taken a long time to debate whether I should open it. I kept thinking ‘what if she is telling the truth and looks the way she said?’ I finally got through that hurdle and decided that it was not her that attracted me to her. At that point I realized that I could accept her even if she was not beautiful. I opened the envelope slowly and when I saw the photos my blood went cold. A delicate, unbelievably beautiful, fine featured china doll was looking at me. She was like a model!!! It had stunned me so much that for hours I could not believe my eyes and had to look at the photos again and again.

I've felt such a tremendous pride that ‘I was able to charm such a beautiful girl and in a foreign language, at that’ was all I could think of. I could not imagine how it could have happened. I simply had to show the photos to those who earlier were raising my doubts by saying such things as ‘I bet she has a bigger mustache than you!’ I've had no doubt, I knew that the photos were of her. She was perfect!! That summer we often spoke about the fact that we should meet, but I told her that there is no way I could save that much money in such a short time. We've spent a lot of time thinking of ways to resolve the problem and finally she said that I should not worry about the ticket, but that I should bring enough spending money.

It was fall by that time and a trip could have became apropo for another reason. Chew Peng, that is her name, had a aunt getting married and she invited me to the wedding. Unfortunately that trip fell through and it made both of us very sad. She became a little pessimistic then, but I had the opportunity to share all the strength that she's given me all along. During the winter she called me and admitted that she was in Vienna as part of a European tour but she didn't tell me earlier as she was afraid I would go there and she was afraid of the meeting. She felt it was not the right time. I thought it odd and was a bit angry with her. We were a few hundred kilometers from each other and we could not arrange to meet!!!

As spring and our second anniversary neared it became obvious to both of us that this is the year we MUST meet!! There is no doubt! I had an unbelievable desire to finally see her and it appeared that finally she was prepared emotionally. Luckily by now not only the matter of the plane ticket was resolved but I also had enough spending money that on July 7, 2000 I boarded an airplane and left Hungary, both for the first time in my life. I went half-way around the world to meet the girl who stole my heart. The trip went relatively smoothly and when the plane touched down in Malaysia my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

I've made my way through the airport administration and then I began to get a bit worried. ‘What if I won't recognize her and we'll pass each other?’

Fortunately, I was wrong. I've hardly taken a few steps and when I looked up she was there. Exactly the same face, those eyes were looking at me that have been burned into my memory from the photos I first saw. And the first sentence, the one I've practiced hundreds if not thousands of times (how lame) ‘Hello, well here I am in real life.’

Luckily two of our mutual chat buddies, Andrea and Grace, accompanied Chew Peng. I knew she would need some time to get used to my presence. Sitting in the car she pulled as far away from me as the car allowed, but I knew that was not her reaction to me but only that she is so touched and very shy.

Talking with the girls seemed to ease her and by the time we've reached our first stop, a restaurant, she appeared relaxed. We talked and laughed a lot, they were asking a lot of questions. I was teaching them Hungarian words and they were teaching me Chinese. We finally went to their place where jet lag caught up with me and I fell asleep.

The next day I met her family: siblings, mother and soon her father. I was surprised by how open they were and how generous in their hospitality. They were so nice that in two or three days I felt completely at home.

Chew Peng and I attempted to make up for all the things that in the past two years appeared only in letters or e-mail. We didn't have much time, only 25 days, but I am happy to say that everything went as well as it possibly could. I will not tell you what all happened during those 25 days as an entire magazine would not be enough to describe it, but it was perfect and I am certain of our love and have no doubts whatever. When time came to say farewell she cried and I must admit that's what I wanted to do too, but I had to be strong. We both understood that something special had begun and this was not and will not be our last meeting.

Chew Peng is now studying in the US. When she will finish her studies next summer we are planning for her to come to Hungary. If that will not work I will try to visit her in Michigan. I am already saving the money and can hardly wait for the continuation.

As far as we are concerned we would like to steer our relationship toward something more serious. We are planning to live together somewhere for a year, year and a half and if that goes smoothly we are considering engagement and marriage. But all that is in the future!

That is where the story catches up with the present. Our relationship continues unbroken. E-mail, chat, phone constantly and when we have the time, electronic postcards. I hope everybody will find their true love and something useful in our story. My lesson from this had been: the world is small, there are no borders. If somebody wants something with all their heart and they are persistent then faith will also want it to come true!

bost by :sir "adam tomas