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Sarah's Favorite Quote: Life's a party, take advantage of it
About Sarah:
Eminem
This Guy Rox :P Daniel Powter Lyrics - "Jimmy Gets High"
Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when you're living off rock 'n roll Rex Goudie Lyrics - "Run"
We're just two people Doctor, Doctor!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me. Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me! Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say. Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly! Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop stealing things. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive. Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights. Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank! Doctor, doctor, I feel so short! Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket. Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live. Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Black Eyed Peas Lyrics - "Where Is The Love"
What's wrong with the world, mama Britney Spears Lyrics - "Everytime"
Notice me The All American Rejects Lyrics - "Girl Of My Dreams"
Beautiful you are Green Day - "Wake Me Up When September Ends"
Summer has come and passed Sum 41 Lyrics - "Hell Song"
Everybody's got their problems |
Sarah
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Week Fishing
A man phones home from his office and says to his wife, "I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime.
I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." The man rushes home to grab everything. He hugs his wife, apologizes for the short notice, and then hurries off. A week later, the man returns and his wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?" The man replies, "Yep, the fishing was great... but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." His wife smiles and says, "Oh, no I didn't... I put them in your tackle box!" Helping The Wife
Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was "woman's work!"
One evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired." Arriving Home
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!" Submitted by Glaci Edited by Calamjo Hi Dave
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. aDave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings Breakfast Lesson
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness!
'You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my!
'WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
'Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to
me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
'Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What's wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
She's A Liar
"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.
"How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley." "So?" the friend replied. "So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!" Doctor, Doctor!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me. Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me! Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say. Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly! Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop stealing things. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive. Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights. Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank! Doctor, doctor, I feel so short! Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket. Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live. Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Cattle Show
A man takes his wife to the cattle stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated:"This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says,"He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated:"This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says,"This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says,"WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says,"Go up and ask if it was 365 times with the same cow." Second Opinion
A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.
The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?" "I was in bed." "What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?" "I was getting a second opinion." Worth The Trouble
While my wife and I were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes
followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?" Funeral Food
An old man was laying on his death bed. With only hours to live, he suddenly noticed the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen.
With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie. His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!" Grandfather
A 60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you.
Why, you might live forever. You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?" The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?" The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?" The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer." The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?" The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?" The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?" The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again." The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?" His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to?" Rules That Girls Wished Guys Knew
1) Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning 2) Shave every day. One day's growth of facial hair is worse than a girl not shaving her legs for a week. 3) We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think. 4) We really don't find it attractive when you stand there stratching yourself in the morning, afternoon or night- please do it in private. 5) Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity. 6) Ask for directions 7) If you said you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, then do it. Don't expect us to wait around. 8) "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say- Unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes Dear"- it's condescending. 9) Get rid of your holey underwear. 10) If you can ogle so can we! 11) One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room. 12) Couch Potato is not a sport, so don't try to be an All-star at it! 13) Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong" 14) If you say you are going to do something, then just do it. Don't sit around thinking of creative excuses why you couldn't get to it. 15) We have other friends of the male gender, so leave your jealousy at the door! 16) If you concede to let us decorate the house without any input from you, then don't complain when everything is in frilly flowers, and pink motif. 17) When wearing a dress shirt, wear an undershirt underneath. Nothing worse than seeing a man's hairy chest and nipples through his shirt. (PINK PINK PINK) 18) We understand that you have to put on a manly act in front of your friends, but in the privacy of your own home, it's okay if you just want to cuddle. Comebacks
Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew
1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 2) Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down. 3) Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it. 4) If you think you're fat, you may be. Don't ask us. (besides, we're not suicidal enough to answer anything other than "no" anyway) 5) Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. It can't be altered so just let be. 6) Shopping is not a sport 7) Anything you wear is fine. Really 8) Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work 9) Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes -- what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 10) Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. 11) "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers 12) A headache that last for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor. 13) Your mom doesn't have to be our best friend. 14) The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill. 15) Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it. 16) Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 17) Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are. 18) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. 19) Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, neither do we. 20) You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little. 21) Men are from earth; women are from earth. Deal with it 22) Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 23) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. 24) We're not telepathic. We can't read your mind, so don't blame us for not knowing something you expected us to know without telling us. Conversely, you aren't telepathic either, so don't get mad about what you think we're thinking, because your guess is probably wrong. Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: "Is this seat empty?" Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Man: "Your place or mine?" Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Man: "What sign were you born under?" Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Man: "I want to give myself to you." Man: "I can tell that you want me." Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: Man: "Your body is like a temple." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you. The Men's Guide To What Women Really Mean By...
What Men Really Mean
"It's a guy thing."
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response "It would take too long to explain." Solid Advice On Marriage From Kids
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents." -Eric, Age 6 How Does a Person Decide Whom to Marry?? "My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, Age 8 "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." -Kirsten, age 10 How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet? "They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down...It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, Age 9 "My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind." -Jeremy, Age 8 What Do Most People do on a Date? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, Age 10 "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -Lynnette, age 8. When is it OK to Kiss Someone? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -Allan, Age 10 "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...that's why I stopped doing it." -Jean, Age 10 "When they're rich." -Pam, age 7 "The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." -Curt, age 7 "The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." -Howard, age 8 The Great Debate: Is it Better to be Single or Married? "You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan." -Kirsten, Age 10 "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." -Anita, Age 9 "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, Age 7 "Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. If I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -Kirsten, age 10 What Do You Think Your Mom and Dad Have in Common? "Both don't want no more kids." -Lori, age 8 What Would You Do on a First Date That Was Turning Sour? "I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers to make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -Craig, age 9 On What Falling in Love is Like: "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -Roger, Age 9 "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -Leo, Age 7 Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands: "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." -Dave, Age 8 How Would the World be Different if People Didn't Get Married? "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" -Kelvin, age 8 "You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." -Roberta, age 7 |
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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
hey sarah!!Sry i have'nt been on me in so long!! like 3 or 4 months lol!!I've been really busy and had no time! Well Mississippi is still gay and boring!! Well cya later i guess....buh-bye
luv;shelby