4/26/06
Never Enough
 
Can’t sew a hole that’s too big,
Not enough string;
 
Can’t live under 20,000 leagues,
Not enough oxygen;
 
Can’t fit into any high school,
Not enough conformity;
 
Can’t speak in front of others,
Not enough guts;
 
Can’t write a story worth reading,
Not enough talent;
 
Can’t wear that miniskirt,
Not enough beauty;
 
Can’t cry for an entire nation,
Not enough tears;
 
Can’t help everyone I care about,
Not enough strength;
 
Can’t mend something unbreakable,
Not enough time in a life;
 
Can’t cry for myself,
Not enough reason;
 
Can’t feel love from others,
Not enough purpose;
 
Can’t make others happy,
Not enough adequacy;
 
Can’t sing my own songs,
Not enough voice;
 
Can’t be liked by others,
Not enough personality;
 
Can’t feel anything right now,
Not enough feeling;
 
Can’t feel any pulse,
Not enough cause.
 
Can’t understand what most people say,
Not enough brains;
 
Can’t find an ending to this shitty poem,
Never enough endings.
                                   ~Me

4/13/06
Hi, I want to talk to you all about long-distance relationships, they suck! Point-blank suck...there's no love present whatsoever, 
theres no faith...and NO FREEDOM!! What kind of life is there without freedom?!
 Just because i am free doesnt make me a slut, it makes me open about my life, 
including my sexuality. 
Another thing I want to talk about...sex and other cultures.    
As some of you know, sex in many cultures is held as sinful 
without marriage, whereas my fellow Americans...well most 
of them....call this theory BULLSHIT!!! 
Look, what kind of person walks around preaching the 
"benefits" of forced celibacy without looking at some 
smokin woman or hot-ass guy?? 
You name me one! i understand those who CHOOSE 
to wait for marriage, that's perfectly understandable...
but those who are forced by religion, government, 
the voices in your head, to never experience even one single 
SHUDDER of pleasure until you have to wear a big 
herky white dress with the guy you are FORCED to 
meet an LIKE IT.......YOU NEED TO FUCKIN' KICK 
YOUR OWN ASS!!!! Some of you might have messages of hate, 
some of agreement, some who just don't give a fuck....which btw, i
f you didn't give a fuck and you're still reading this....YOU NEED TO 
GET A LIFE!!!! There! I feel better! Well, Let me know if you have 
nothing else better 
to do what you think I'd really like some opinions on this just to 
see if I'm alone in this way of thinking.
HURT
I hurt myself today 

To see if I still feel 

I focus on the pain 

The only thing that's real 

The needle tears a hole 

The old familiar sting 

Try to kill it all away 

But I remember everything 



What have I become? 

My sweetest friend 

Everyone I know 

Goes away in the end 

You could have it all 

My empire of dirt 

I will let you down 

I will make you hurt 



I wear this crown of thorns 

Upon my liar's chair 

Full of broken thoughts 

I cannot repair 

Beneath the stain of time 

The feeling disappears 

You are someone else 

I am still right here 



What have I become? 

My sweetest friend 

Everyone I know 

Goes away in the end 

You could have it all 

My empire of dirt 

I will let you down 

I will make you hurt 



If I could start again 

A million miles away 

I would keep myself 

I would find a way 
               -Johnny Cash
Red Rain
Let me tell you a story
About a girl who lied
And everyone believed her
Except for when she cried
Her love for the wrangler 
Drowned her guilt for her conscience
But when she had to tell the truth
They all thought it was nonsense
 
So whenever she cried
Red rain appeared
And she let go of it all
Everything she held dear
 
She seethed and it rained
Soon she was drained
But she never stopped
She was consumed by the pain
 
Her mother saw the rain
Saw her lying on the ground
Her tears splashed in the puddle
And her world came crashing down
 
So she picked up the blade
And slowly closed the door
And smiled while thinking fondly
“She’s not hurting anymore”
 
She buried her on a hill
Farthest from home she had been
She threw the blade at the sky
And never saw red rain again.
                                       -Me